Every ounce of my blood is boiling right now. I don’t know if I want to cry or scream or do both.  Probably both.

Who am I kidding…I’ve definitely done both today.

There are moments in our lives when we just want to say “F*ck You”.  And you know what…that’s ok.

I’m having one of those moments right now.  Those of you who know me, you know that it has to take a lot for those words to come out of my mouth (or be so deeply hurt that I write about wanting it to come out of my mouth).

Earlier today I got a phone call from our insurance company.   Sean and I have been in the process of getting life insurance for me since I don’t have any at this point.  The word from the insurance company is that after evaluating my medical records and getting paperwork back from my different doctors, and plugging all the info into their algorithm computers, basically the quote they originally gave us is going to triple for me. TRIPLE!!!!

I’m a “high risk” for life insurance.    Hearing this is like taking a punch to the stomach.  It pisses me off!

It pisses me off because in the last 3 years I have done everything to be the healthiest I can be and I feel like I’m there.  I’m so proud of the hard work I’ve put into me!  I’m so darn proud of the fact that my pulmonogist, endocrinologist and cardiologist have told me that whatever I’m doing is working and to keep doing it.  I’m so proud of the fact that I now only have to be seen by them once a year as a follow-up.

It’s been hard work to get to this point.  It’s been hard work to not give into the temptations of life all of the time.  It’s not easy to say that it’s ok to make time for me (even if that time is 5-7am before the kids wake up for the day).

After having Lily did my thyroid start acting up…YES.  Did my lung start acting up…YES.  Did they discover a heart arrhythmia that has probably existed my entire life…YES.  Do I go annually to make sure all of these conditions are in check and are being taken care of so they don’t progressively get worse…YES!

So excuse me corporate insurance company for trying to tell me I’m not healthy…for trying to tell me that I’m a high risk for you.  F*ck you!

Go ahead and insure those people who continue to eat fast food.  Those who haven’t exercised in the last 10 years.  Those who continue to smoke and drink and do other things that you can’t track on paper.  I hope they screw you over!

As for me, I have more fire in me now than ever to continue to be the healthiest person I can possibly be.  I’m going to work my ass off  these next 80 days with 80 Day Obsession.  I’m going to keep fueling my body with clean foods, lots of water, love and positive people.

I don’t need you to insure me.  I’m going to insure myself!  I’m going to insure myself by doing everything possible to live a long, healthy life.

So thank you for saving me the money of having to pay you annually!